Earlier this year I was job hunting. I joined a manifestation group. I made my vision/goal board. I was extremely intentional about what I wanted in the job leaving enough flexibility for it to show up. I wrote: I am in a job that feeds my soul, commensurate with my education and experience, ability to create and affect positive change within communities, foster friendly and collaborative relationships, salary enough to pay my bills, allows me to save for retirement, and to play. And in a few months, that very job appeared. I did not have to negotiate for salary and my house in Savannah sold in less than four hours. Everything fell into place.
In my new position, I worked on teamwork and asked each team member to tell me what they needed from me to make them more successful. I wanted to establish a foundation of trust and safety honoring their lived experiences. I challenged them to think bigger and promised to assist in finding the resources to create a more positive impact. It wasn’t easy, but I loved the work and the team was transforming. I looked forward to seeing all that we could do together.
Then shortly after my 90 days I was terminated. I was told that I was not a good fit for the organization. In full disclosure I knew that I was not everyone’s favorite person and there were some people in the organization that I struggled to find common ground. I was very transparent about that and had been working with HR to find strategies to make it better. So I was under no illusion that I was perfect. And yet I honestly thought that I was doing good. There was no conversation to the contrary.
Anyway, I was not a good fit. I think that is a good thing because I showed up as my authentic self. I no longer have to worry about developing plans and programs that would be deemed unacceptable. I will not get my feelings hurt by being turned down for a raise or a promotion. More importantly, I will not have to pretzel myself into someone that I would not even recognize at the end of the day.
And yet I felt a sense of betrayal. This is not how the agency was portrayed to me. And I felt that I let my team down. I was not a culture fit I was a culture add and although that is what was advertised, that is not what was wanted, at least not my brand of add anyway.
It hurts being discarded so quickly, but better sooner than later. This experience is something to write about and ponder. I have no idea where my next step will take me. I am open to possibilities beyond what I can even imagine. It will be amazing because I deserve what I desire and I desire nothing less. Do you know anyone hiring?
