It’s what I should have said to someone as I was heading out for my morning 10.5 mile run. But honestly, I did not think it was going to be a problem. It was my final run of my 52nd year.
All I expected was a lot of introspection, retrospection, and celebration of the end of another year. That is so NOT what happened.
By the time I reached the second mile out of nowhere came tons of negative thoughts that ranged from what I could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, didn’t, did, with a few failures thrown in. By the time I reached mile four I was almost on my knees in tears. I knew I was in trouble when I reached mile five on the top of the Isle ofPalms connector and the view that always takes my breath away only reminded me of a dream deferred. Yikes!
You know it’s bad when you look at this and long for Target. (Photo credit: willia4)
So at the top of the bridge I stopped. That’s right. I stopped on the shoulder and looked down to the marsh and said a silent prayer. I am not sure how long I stood there, but when I started home I thought about the Target store. I could run to the parking lot and hopefully find someone I knew to drive me home. That was the plan and it sounded like a pretty good one.
When I got to the road to turn into Target I realized something. Target is a bit less than 2.5 miles from my house. Less than 2.5 miles. That means that in the midst of my self inflicted pity party I covered eight miles!
So did I need to ask someone to pick me up at Target? No.
Couldn’t I, the self-proclaimed poster child for the 50+ and fabulous walk, run, hop, crawl, or electric slide 2.5 miles to my house? Yes and that is exactly what I did. I am pleading the 5th on how much crawling and electric sliding was involved.
As soon I as passed Target all of those horrible thoughts disappeared. Just like magic. It was not the run I imagined, but during it I showed real courage.Yes, in my own quiet way I exhibited true raw unfiltered courage on demand. So glad that I did not ask anyone to pick me up at Target and today of all days I really wanted to.
Again, not the run I was planning but not a bad way to end a year. Happy birthday to me. I done well.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”